If Every Tampa Neighborhood Were a Person at a Party
Funny, serious, provocative, instructional—no topic goes undiscussed on Reddit.
Reddit user Otherwise-Paint-9874 recently posed this question on the popular app: “Pretend every neighborhood in Tampa is a person at a house party. What is each person doing?”
Tampa Bay did not disappoint, hilariously revealing itself. Check out some of the most popular responses below. Confession: This is a PG blog lol. Some of the responses have been edited for decency.
Ybor City is peeing in the kitchen sink. — brain 2900
While carrying around a chicken. — SpaceAzn_Zen
Westchase is the divorced dude in good shape looking for singles. — SpeedBoatSquirrel
West Tampa is wearing a guayabera and pestering the bartender for mojitos. Smells like Arturo Fuentes. — SpeedBoatSquirrel
Wesley Chapel keeps talking about her divorce, how independent she’s become, and how much she’s loving being single again. Then starts drunk crying about how hard it is to date. — 4Ever2Thee
Hyde Park came dressed as a pirate and is talking financials. — SpeedBoatSquirrel
Brandon is the safe friend drinking Miller Lite and making too many “The Office” jokes. — SpeedBoatSquirrel
I live in Brandon, drink Miller Lite, and am watching The Office for the 10th time. I feel attacked. — SaltyMaynard
Carrollwood is showing pictures of his ski boat and drinking basic Bud Light. — SpeedBoatSquirrel
Temple Terrace didn’t show up. It’s past their bedtime and they’re gonna hit the golf course in the morning. — leFrenchhorn
Town ‘n’ Country’s shirt is wet for some reason. — ping8888
It’s either pee or beer. He doesn’t know which. — ravbuc
Seminole Heights is the hipster with tats and piercings. Brought great beer but is a little sketch. — SpeedBoatSquirrel
Land O’ Lakes is the soccer mom who just got her nails done. On her phone asking who the best pool company is. — PsychKim
Plant City is the redneck cousin who showed up in a lifted pickup with truck nuts. Keeps trying to sneak country songs into the playlist. — SpeedBoatSquirrel
Also, brought fireworks. — killimajig
Tierra Verde showed up buzzed in Tommy Bahama, bragging about biking to Fort DeSoto. — houzzacards27
Davis Island is the retired podiatrist who arrived in a golf cart. Arguing with Hyde Park about how he should invest in index funds rather than crypto. — janoseye
Lakeland used to do a lot of drugs but has improved himself over the years and is now trying to be a Kentucky colonel. — SpeedBoatSquirrel
Palm Harbor is the neighbor who’s calling 911 with a noise complaint. — brieannebarbie
Gibsonton has his pet snake draped around his shoulders. Keeps asking people if they want to touch it. — Funkyokra
FishHawk is wearing dress Athletica and talking about bike trails, court cases and gifted offspring. Some of the court cases involve the gifted offspring. — Legitimate_Editor_86
Virginia Park is posting a clip on Nextdoor of a “suspicious person” from her video doorbell. — marrsjulia
Tampa Palms hired a babysitter for the night so they can let loose and reminisce about the good ol’ days before kids. — md28usmc
Then fell asleep on the sofa. — TrappistWhiskey
Sulphur Springs showed up after everybody passed out. Mixed all the leftover booze in a Big Gulp. Drinking it on the porch, watching the sun come up. — NextSlidePlease
